Today I was chatting back and forth via email with my friend Ellen and she asked me a question that I often ask myself:
"Speaking of which…how are you feeling about motherhood? Are you feeling “ready” for it? Are you imagining what it will be like. You're so close!"
My response:
do I feel ready? Yes and No...
But then I think about Caleb, is he ready for the world on the outside? whatever transition I am having to make, I can only imagine his will be much tougher....weird to think that way I know. but my point is that we'll be going through changes together.
I feel like I have a lot of what I need, and I'm mentally preparing myself for the all-consuming task that motherhood will be, especially in the first few weeks and months. I know my time for other things will be limited and I am prepared to devote myself entirely to my family for the first time ever.
I am ready to hold him and kiss him and love him unconditionally....Am I ready to change his stinky explosive diapers or try to coo him to sleep when he won't stop crying??? Not necessarily but that would technically fall under the unconditional love category....i would imagine.
It becomes more and more surreal. the thought of possessing the title 'mother' as well as holding the human being that has grown inside of my body for the greater part of a year - surreal and magical and frightening and perfect.
I just pray that everything from here until the end goes as planned and that I am able to safely greet my little man into his new world as he welcomes me to mine :)
